TERROR MANNEQUIN

•October 21, 2019 • Leave a Comment

Greetings, my TINY LITTLE HALLOWEEN BATS! It appears Tabitha King broke into my house, fished this out of my trash can, and published it. Thanks for believing in me, Tabby!

TERROR MANNEQUIN

An absurd horror-comedy, TERROR MANNEQUIN is my fourth book and second short novel. From the back cover:

Forty-year-old Glont Lamont is a longtime employee of Fun 4-Life Corporation, where he gets paid good money to play videos games, watch TV, get drunk, get high, devour pizza, ride the company roller coaster, take long-ass naps, and toss off like a madman in an insane asylum. There’s only one problem: Glont’s sick of his job! Nowadays, all he really wants to do is work long, grueling shifts 7-days-a-week doing any sort of awful, backbreaking, tedious, demoralizing, soul-crushing, severely undercompensated labor.

But with Halloween just a few days away, Glont has more important things to worry about than his workplace woes. Namely, he must take his two “freak” nephews out reverse trick-or-treating, which is a form of annual ritualistic tribute whereby the cruel townspeople force his nephews to walk door-to-door on Halloween night to hand out candy to people instead of receiving candy themselves.

And this year, the last stop on the trio’s reverse trick-or-treating itinerary is Fallingwater—built on a natural waterfall, Frank Lloyd Wright’s world-famous architectural masterpiece is now closed to the public and allegedly haunted by an evil supernatural entity known as TERROR MANNEQUIN

“Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today.” –Bradley Sands, author of Dodgeball High

“…the best bizarro absurdist in the business.” –Amy M. Vaughn, author of Skull Nuggets

Grab a copy here:

Paperback

Kindle

Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!

•July 14, 2017 • Leave a Comment

My new short story collection, Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!, is now available. Consisting of twenty bizarro-whacko-absurdo stories, including a dozen never-before-published pieces, this is my third book and my second short story collection—a spiritual sequel of sorts to Clown Tear Junkies. Among the reprints included in ‘Winona’ are three critically acclaimed stories I wrote specifically for The Bizarro Starter Kit (Red).

(Alright, so maybe that “critical acclaim” came courtesy of a pissed-off Hungarian-Egyptian lobster-saxophonist who likes to carve Chicken McNuggets into tiny busts of Antonio Salieri. But, hey, a strugglin’-ass mofo will take what a strugglin’-ass mofo can get, no??)

From the back cover: Continue reading ‘Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!’

THE HOTTEST GAY MAN EVER KILLED IN A SHARK ATTACK is Now Out…

•August 20, 2016 • 1 Comment

Whew! Like 87 years ago or something, my first book, Clown Tear Junkies, saw its publication. After sundry delays, and for better or worse, my second book, The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack, is now a thing in the world.

Click on the cover image for the Amazon link.

Continue reading ‘THE HOTTEST GAY MAN EVER KILLED IN A SHARK ATTACK is Now Out…’

My Story “Not That It Matters, but the War of 1812 Was Kinda Hawt” is up at the Kafka Review

•October 2, 2015 • Leave a Comment

What’s the longest you ever let your lunchbox grow??

My latest short, “Not That It Matters, but the War of 1812 Was Kinda Hawt,” is up at the Kafka Review. Log line: After shaving his ample beard and getting his long hair snipped off, a worker bee in a cubicle farm decides to grow his lunchbox long. And for better or worse, Freddy, Jason, Alien, and Predator all make cameo appearances in this one. Special thanks to Laurance Friend for publishing one of my dumbest stories to date.

 

Kafka Review

My new story, “Got Me a Date with an Uptown Girl,” is up…

•September 3, 2015 • Leave a Comment

My latest short, “Got Me a Date with an Uptown Girl,” is up at three minute plastic, a webzine for bizarro and dark humor stories. The story received Editor’s Pick for the issue, earning me a handy five-spot. The issue also includes stuff from Zoltán Komor, Nathan Wunner, and Joseph Patchen.

 

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The Four Gentlemen of the Apocalypse is Now Available

•July 16, 2015 • Leave a Comment

The Four Gentlemen of the Apocalypse, the first release from Strange Edge Publications, is now available for purchase on Amazon. This ebook collects four novelettes written by Dustin Reade, G Arthur Brown, S.T. Cartledge, and yours truly. My contribution is a story called “The Ballad of TERROR TINY TIM.” At just under 15,000 words, TERROR TINY TIM straddles the line between novelette and novella; it’s the longest piece of fiction I’ve had published to date, and sort of marks my long-form debut, if you will. [Will you?] Here’s the synopsis for TERROR TINY TIM included on the Amazon page:

In an absurd world where the letter “r” has yet to be discovered, something evil is said to lurk behind a locked door in a suburban sex dungeon where a kidnapped father and an incestuous bigamist named You-Don’t-Have-To-Be-Lonely-At-Farmers-Only-Dot-Com find themselves imprisoned for life.

If I had to further describe the novelette, I might say it’s sort of an absurdly comedic bizarro nightmare about the responsibilities of parenthood. Something like that. Also, as Danger Slater put it, “The Ballad of TERROR TINY TIM is like the Bad News Bears meets…Deliverance meets…A Christmas Carol? I don’t even know.” And other folks, namely Brian Allen Carr, Matthew Revert, and Jason Wayne Allen, had some nice things to say about the collection as a whole too.

Click on the pic for the Amazon link.

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The Four Gentlemen of the Apocalypse Draws Some Advance Buzz.

•July 12, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Huh, never hit this here “Reblog” button before. Let’s see if it works…

The Strange Edge Magazine

4gents-final

In just a few days the first official Strange Edge Publications e-book makes it debut. It’s an anthology featuring four novelettes by the authors Douglas Hackle (Wonderland Book Award-nominated author of Clown Tear Junkies), Dustin Reade (author of Grambo andWe’re Decomposing as We Go…), G. Arthur Brown (the smug, crass bastard who publishes his own work in anthologies that his own press releases and author of Kitten and I Like Turtles), and S.T. Cartlege (author of House Hunter and Day of the Milkman).

Brian Allen Carr, Wonderland Book Award-winning author of Motherfucking Sharks and The Last Horror Novel in the History of the World, carefully crafted these 35 words on the topic:

In the tradition of Three Cases of Murder, this four sided apocalypse hymn will set your nerves to dizzy. The Strange Edge has brewed up something wicked, tasty. Drink…

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